Ambrose Bierce 1

Revolution, n. In politics, an abrupt change in the form of misgovernment.
Ambrose Bierce

Eulogy. Praise of a person who has either the advantages of wealth and power, or the consideration to be dead.
Ambrose Bierce

Dog – a kind of additional or subsidiary Deity designed to catch the overflow and surplus of the world’s worship.
Ambrose Bierce

The hardest tumble a man can make is to fall over his own bluff.
Ambrose Bierce

Who never doubted, never half believed. Where doubt is, there truth is – it is her shadow.
Ambrose Bierce

Cynic, n: a blackguard whose faulty vision sees things as they are, not as they ought to be.
Ambrose Bierce

Saint: A dead sinner revised and edited.
Ambrose Bierce

Suffrage, noun. Expression of opinion by means of a ballot. The right of suffrage (which is held to be both a privilege and a duty) means, as commonly interpreted, the right to vote for the man of another man’s choice, and is highly prized.
Ambrose Bierce

Jealous, adj. Unduly concerned about the preservation of that which can be lost only if not worth keeping.
Ambrose Bierce

Ocean: A body of water occupying about two-thirds of a world made for man – who has no gills.
Ambrose Bierce

Destiny: A tyrant’s authority for crime and a fool’s excuse for failure.
Ambrose Bierce

Death is not the end. There remains the litigation over the estate.
Ambrose Bierce

Perseverance – a lowly virtue whereby mediocrity achieves an inglorious success.
Ambrose Bierce

Meekness: Uncommon patience in planning a revenge that is worth while.
Ambrose Bierce

Forgetfulness – a gift of God bestowed upon debtors in compensation for their destitution of conscience.
Ambrose Bierce

Admiration, n. Our polite recognition of another’s resemblance to ourselves.
Ambrose Bierce

Quotation, n: The act of repeating erroneously the words of another.
Ambrose Bierce

Present, n. That part of eternity dividing the domain of disappointment from the realm of hope.
Ambrose Bierce

Amnesty, n. The state’s magnanimity to those offenders whom it would be too expensive to punish.
Ambrose Bierce

Future. That period of time in which our affairs prosper, our friends are true and our happiness is assured. – Ambrose Bierce

All are lunatics, but he who can analyze his delusions is called a philosopher.
Ambrose Bierce

Experience is a revelation in the light of which we renounce our errors of youth for those of age.
Ambrose Bierce

Belladonna, n.: In Italian a beautiful lady; in English a deadly poison. A striking example of the essential identity of the two tongues.
Ambrose Bierce

To apologize is to lay the foundation for a future offense.
Ambrose Bierce

Curiosity, n. An objectionable quality of the female mind. The desire to know whether or not a woman is cursed with curiosity is one of the most active and insatiable passions of the masculine soul.
Ambrose Bierce

Faith: Belief without evidence in what is told by one who speaks without knowledge, of things without parallel.
Ambrose Bierce

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