Amy Sedaris

When people tell me they are going to go scrapbooking, I say, ‘Why don’t you make it yourself.’ It’s like chocolate-chip cookies. People buy the cookie-dough roll and slice it, and then they lay it on a cookie sheet. That’s not making chocolate-chip cookies.
Amy Sedaris

Books are challenging and inspirational to me.
Amy Sedaris

I have always wanted a bunny and I’ll always have a rabbit the rest of my life.
Amy Sedaris

I always liked my teachers, and I was in a lot of after-school projects. I was a Girl Scout until my senior year, when I couldn’t be a Girl Scout anymore. I was in clubs like Junior Achievement, and I ran track and field. My grades were good, but then toward 11th grade they were nothing. I always went to summer school.
Amy Sedaris

I like to decide the night before Thanksgiving that I’m gonna do it, and I’ll see what riff raff is around. Then I get that last-minute surge of energy. But if I had two weeks to plan, sometimes I wish I wasn’t doing it. But very seldom does that happen.
Amy Sedaris

Sometimes, to keep things exciting, I decorate my house as if I owned a child. I’ll toss a tiny pair of shoes in the hallway or lean small wooden crutches in what I refer to as ‘the baby’s room,’ which is actually a tiny space where I make things. I continue to call it the baby’s room because it confuses people and it’s creepy.
Amy Sedaris

If I put my mind to something, it happens. I do know that’s not necessarily psychic. But I always feel like there’s something around me protecting me.
Amy Sedaris

My mom used to say that Greek Easter was later because then you get stuff cheaper.
Amy Sedaris

I like crafts that are made out of necessity because they’re a little naive – you made it because you needed it.
Amy Sedaris

My father and I have a very good relationship. We always got along. But I always scold him.
Amy Sedaris

More men than women like ‘Strangers With Candy’. Pretty girls don’t like the show. They don’t like to see an ugly lady.
Amy Sedaris

We’re all used to seeing pretty people. I want to see real people.
Amy Sedaris

But I always like to play ugly people who think they’re pretty.
Amy Sedaris

You know when you watch old movies, it’s always the small parts you remember, the character actors who come in like a breath of fresh air.
Amy Sedaris

I’m gonna do the whole bedroom in camel color – it’s an old lady color.
Amy Sedaris

I never really take shortcuts. I was always one of those people who, instead of cutting across someone’s yard on the way home from school, I would go to the end of the block and turn.
Amy Sedaris

I want witchcraft so bad that I can’t stand it. I have wands in my apartment. And I use them sometimes. I walk into the kitchen with my wand, and I come out with something on a platter and I say, ‘See, magic happens.’ Works every time.
Amy Sedaris

I wasn’t a cliquey person, and I think that’s because I came from a large family. I got along with everybody, and I usually got along with the people that people didn’t like.
Amy Sedaris

I like crafts that come out of poverty or necessity. There used to be hobby shops where you’d get your supplies, and then you’d use your imagination.
Amy Sedaris

They just expected it to you know… Paul, Steve and I could have hired our own publicist, if we wanted to, but I kind of liked the way it was more of a cult thing and those that liked it, liked it, you know what I mean?
Amy Sedaris

I really don’t like going out. I don’t like restaurants because I don’t like the idea of someone, a waitress, being responsible for my evening. I like seconds, and more, and lots of conversation, and I’ve always hated the idea that in a restaurant an evening just ends. I find that incredibly depressing.
Amy Sedaris

I like to make things, but I looked at old craft books on weaving or mosaics or whatever, I’m like, ‘I don’t really know anything about that stuff.’
Amy Sedaris

I’m very domestic; I love cleaning. I love cooking. I like waiting on people. I just like to make things. I don’t break that down to be weakness, or the only things women can do, or putting me back 20 years.
Amy Sedaris

I have a couple freeloader friends, but it’s okay. I know they’re gonna come in with their arms flying in the air empty-handed.
Amy Sedaris

I feel confident writing on my feet with improv, but it’s different when you’re sitting down and writing it out.
Amy Sedaris
Writing, Feet, Down

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