Adam Carolla 1

I get depressed at airports.
Adam Carolla

The main thing that I learned from my horrible job experiences was how horrible they were.
Adam Carolla

All’s the government should do is keep the taxes and regulations at a manageable rate, keep a decent standing army and get out of the way.
Adam Carolla

Millions of guys play millions of basketball games every day of the week at the playground or the YMCA. But LeBron James gets $20 million a year because he can jam on all of those guys. We’re always going to want to see LeBron and Kobe go at it.
Adam Carolla

When you’re picking a basketball team, you’ll take the brother over the guy with the yarmulke. Why? Because you’re playing the odds.
Adam Carolla

Honestly, I’ve always had difficulty relaxing, unwinding and going to bed – that kind of stuff.
Adam Carolla

If the media isn’t slanted toward the Left, why is everyone so worried about my affiliation with Glenn Beck but not with Alec Baldwin?
Adam Carolla

I think people have a strong desire to push me and others into some sort of political box that they can wrap their minds around.
Adam Carolla

I’ve always boxed, I always taught boxing.
Adam Carolla

I swear my car won’t run unless I’m picking my nose: At least, I’m that superstitious about it, so I don’t want to take any chances.
Adam Carolla

I’m not sexist, I’m just a realist.
Adam Carolla

I’m a doofus from the Valley, a blue-collar guy.
Adam Carolla

I mean, we sit around and we go, you know, ‘Torture doesn’t work.’ Well, it’s been around for 5,000 years. Most stuff that doesn’t work goes the way of the dodo pretty quick, like waterbeds and 8-tracks and things like that.
Adam Carolla

I’ve never really broken this down before, but, in movies, you almost have no connection to fans. And if you do TV, you’re kind of connected, but they know you as the TV name not your real name. If you do radio, there’s more of a bond there. And then if you do a podcast it’s like you’re literally inside of your fans.
Adam Carolla

Maybe I’m delusional but I’m usually funny. It’s not 100% but I have a pretty good batting average.
Adam Carolla

I’m not comically oriented. I get angry and I start complaining and then people start laughing. I don’t even want them to laugh half the time.
Adam Carolla

I don’t have any ill will or ill thought towards anybody.
Adam Carolla

No, I had not read any other comedian’s book. Not that I don’t enjoy other comedians; I’m just not a reader.
Adam Carolla

I’m not a Republican.
Adam Carolla

I don’t think healthcare’s a right. The only right you have is the ability to go out on an even playing field and work, and then purchase health insurance, or whatever it is.
Adam Carolla

I have no connection with Hollywood. I’m not interested. I don’t care.
Adam Carolla

The very definition of ‘beauty’ is outside.
Adam Carolla

I cook a little bit. I make a Hungarian dish called chicken paprikash that’s out of this world. I’ll give a heads-up to all of your readers that it doesn’t have to be between Thai and Mexican every night. Toss some Hungarian in every once in a while. You will not be sorry. Good, solid peasant food.
Adam Carolla

I don’t have anything against my mom, but my family has no emotional connection to each other.
Adam Carolla

I have a daughter who I love very much, I hire women, I’ve worked with women, I’ve never had an issue with women.
Adam Carolla

I like my parents but they are just not good parents. They are nice enough people. I’m not interested in hurting their feelings.
Adam Carolla

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